Until this year, my attraction to women was NOT something I talked about. Ever. Hell, it wasn't something I even acknowledged to myself. Any thoughts that made it to the surface of my subconscious were quickly pushed back deep down below.
Unless I was drunk. Under the influence of alcohol, the lesbian inside of me would try to escape. This inner lesbian (let's call her Rhonda) wanted to be free! Rhonda wanted to meet women, date, fool around a little. And she let me know it.
Rhonda would log on to my various dating websites (for a little look at my life as a hetero, check out my online dating blog at www.dubiousdating.com ....yeah, I totally thought I was straight) and search for women in my area. Occasionally Rhonda would send out a wink. Rhonda even emailed a lady or two. That was super awkward, when Mel woke up the next morning to find a reply! (Conversations were usually left alone until Rhonda resurfaced) Rhonda was a flirt. Rhonda was even a little horny. And she tried her damndest to get Mel to just accept the fact that she was interested in women.
My favorite story of Rhonda is the Craigslist Adventures. Two years ago when I was living in Texas, Rhonda logged on to Craigslist, clicked "women seeking women" and typed the following ad:
"I've never been with a woman other than a random kiss in college, but I'm curious."
No picture, no description, she left it at that. But the emails came in anyway. Ladies asking for pictures, ladies saying they'd like to teach me, couples interested in a threesome. The ad was probably up for about 10 minutes before Mel fought back to the surface and deleted it.
But you know what? That bitch Rhonda posted it again a few weeks later! And AGAIN and AGAIN! That ad somehow made it to Craigslist a total of 5 times over the course of 2 years!
Sometimes I wonder...was Rhonda trying to get me laid or killed?!
Rhonda would log on to my various dating websites (for a little look at my life as a hetero, check out my online dating blog at www.dubiousdating.com ....yeah, I totally thought I was straight) and search for women in my area. Occasionally Rhonda would send out a wink. Rhonda even emailed a lady or two. That was super awkward, when Mel woke up the next morning to find a reply! (Conversations were usually left alone until Rhonda resurfaced) Rhonda was a flirt. Rhonda was even a little horny. And she tried her damndest to get Mel to just accept the fact that she was interested in women.
My favorite story of Rhonda is the Craigslist Adventures. Two years ago when I was living in Texas, Rhonda logged on to Craigslist, clicked "women seeking women" and typed the following ad:
"I've never been with a woman other than a random kiss in college, but I'm curious."
No picture, no description, she left it at that. But the emails came in anyway. Ladies asking for pictures, ladies saying they'd like to teach me, couples interested in a threesome. The ad was probably up for about 10 minutes before Mel fought back to the surface and deleted it.
But you know what? That bitch Rhonda posted it again a few weeks later! And AGAIN and AGAIN! That ad somehow made it to Craigslist a total of 5 times over the course of 2 years!
Sometimes I wonder...was Rhonda trying to get me laid or killed?!
Very nice lol.
ReplyDeleteOnce you know exactly what/who you are, it's always strangle to look back and think Seriously?!?
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! I love this! And I love that you named your inner lesbian. And why not? She has a personality all her own as well!
ReplyDeleteLove love love it.
And I think she was trying to get you laid. Although, killed is sometimes a by-product of trying to get laid. Oh well, gotta take the good with the bad I guess. lol.
(P.s. Don't get killed. I just found your blog! You can't take it away from me now!!)
Don't worry, now that I have a girlfriend and my inner lesbian and outer lesbian have made peace, Rhonda is staying away rom Craigslist. Rhonda is appeased. Though its been awhile, unless you count phone sex. Hmm, I should write about that...but I'm terrified my mom wil find this!
ReplyDelete