Dealing with Depression

From an old facebook note I wrote several years ago.  While I'm unable to write, I figured I would share something I've already written...

"Who does depression hurt? Everyone."

I hate those ads.  But it's true.  My depression does not only affect me, it affects everyone I know and love.  I am not myself when I'm depressed, and that impacts those close to me (and even those not so close to me!).  I used to hate it when people would tell me I always seem so down on myself in my facebook posts, or that I cry all the time.  I hated it because I didn't like the implication that there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't acting the way I should.  And so I brushed it off.

Still here...

Hey everyone, I'm still here, still around...so sorry I haven't gotten back to posting yet.  I've been having a really rough time lately and though writing helps, I just don't feel like I should be putting down everything I've been feeling and dealing with out there to the world.

I hope I'll be back soon, I really do miss writing and I miss my blog friends who used to stop by.  I hope you all don't forget about me.

Happy Holidays, everyone xx

Down in the Dumps

Hello Dear Readers,

(Assuming I still have readers...)

I would like to apologize for my absence as of late.  I've been really depressed, and have barely been able to get out of bed and go to class, let alone update my blog.  I've made the decision to go back on antidepressants and have an appointment with a doctor Monday morning. So hopefully I'll be back up and running as my old self in a couple weeks, and along with that - fingers crossed - I'll start posting again.

The decision to go back on my medication was both super easy and really difficult.

"Good job you're gay!" (And other things you don't want to hear while your girlfriend is cutting your hair)

Yes, I let Callie cut my hair.

No, she's not a hairstylist.  She's not trained.  Her only qualifications? She's trimmed her kids' and husband's hair with the clippers, and she loves me.

...Hello UK

I know you have all been anxiously awaiting my update, barely able to carry on with your daily activities while wondering what had been going on with Mel.  And I'm very sorry to have interfered with your sleep these last few weeks due to my lack of updates.  I apologize.  (Or should I say "apologise?")  I have been putting this off for a few reasons - the easiest to blame would be that I was staying at Callie's house and didn't have a lot of time to sit around blogging.  But even more so because...I've had no idea what to write.  It has been a both an incredibly wonderful and horribly difficult time, and it's really hard for me to put into words.

Goodbye USA...

Tonight I set off for England so you may not hear from me for a little while.  I will definitely update with life in the UK, but I know I'll have way more exciting things to do than sit down and write!

I'm experiencing a lot of sadness right now - I really really hate goodbyes.

Giving It All Up

This is my last weekend in America.

On Wednesday, I leave everything I have ever known behind and begin a new life far, far away.  That's right folks, I am moving to England.  I've quit my job, I've sold my furniture, I've rehomed my pets.  No more adding 5 hours to the time, or living from phone call to phone call.  Never again will I have to say goodnight at 5 pm and spend my evening counting down the hours until my own bedtime.  Visits will be days apart; never again will months pass between each time I lay eyes on the woman I love.