"Good job you're gay!" (And other things you don't want to hear while your girlfriend is cutting your hair)

Yes, I let Callie cut my hair.

No, she's not a hairstylist.  She's not trained.  Her only qualifications? She's trimmed her kids' and husband's hair with the clippers, and she loves me.



But I was due for a haircut and she wanted to try.  And I love her, and trust her.  So I thought, "why not?" and told her she could give it a try.  We decided she would leave it a little longer than I usually cut it, in case it didn't turn out so great and I needed to go to the salon and get it fixed up a bit.   So we checked the salon hours (just in case), put the little one in the highchair to feed himself, and we were off to the races.  The following are some snippets of conversation that occurred during our 3 hour haircutting experience (as best I can remember):

Callie: I'm just cutting off all the length and then I'll fix up the back

Callie: Okay, I really need to blend this in
Me: Do you know how to do that?
Callie: Umm, no.
Me: Maybe you should google it...watch a youtube video or something
(5 minutes later, after watching a video on layering)
Callie: Okay, that really was nothing like what I'm doing to your hair but I think it helped a little.  

Callie's 3 year old son: Melanie, I love your hair!
Callie: See, L loves it!
L: Why is it so crazy?!

Callie: Good job you're gay!

Callie: I'm getting really good at my technique now
Me: This reminds me of when I used to cut my Barbies' hair as a kid.  

Callie: Good job you're gay!

Callie: Good job I was so good in bed last night!
Me: You'd better be even better tonight!

Me: Remember, you still have to date me. In public.



It turned out a little shorter in back than I intended (she remembered that I said last time I got it cut that the stylist didn't raise the hairline enough with the clippers) and not quite blended right.  But it did look pretty cool from the front, after a little extra styling.  A quick trip to the cheap salon later, and I had one cool haircut.  Though in my old life, I would have probably cried because I looked like a lesbian...

Lookin' cool (she did a great job on the front!)

Callie's handiwork

It ended up even SHORTER in back after the hairdresser fixed it up.   Here's me a week or so later