I am so so happy for her and her fiance, he's really truly a great guy, and already feels like part of the family. But...
You know that scene in Friends (Oh, I don't think I've ever mentioned this but I'm a HUGE Friends fanatic, and I believe basically everything in life relates back to Friends in one way or another) after Monica and Chandler get engaged, when Rachel and Phoebe are discussing how happy they are? It goes a little something like this:
Rachel: I’m so happy for them!
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Rachel: I’m so happy and not at all jealous.
Phoebe: Oh no! No, God, definitely not jealous!
Rachel: I mean I’m probably 98% happy, maybe 2% jealous. And I mean what’s 2%? That’s nothing.
Phoebe: Totally. I’m like 90/10.
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Whenever someone gets engaged, I'm always really really happy for them, but also just a tiny bit sad/jealous. Now that Callie and I are back together, it's so much easier to be happy for my sister and her
But as I watch my sister and her fiance delight in sharing their news with friends, family, the facebook world, I can't help but wonder...
Will everyone be this excited when I get engaged? Will I be able to share my complete and utter happiness with my family, friends, and the facebook world and get the same congratulations and excitement that my sister has received? Will family be thrilled for me, posting congratulations and asking when they can meet my fiancee? Will my friends be bursting with excitement and well wishes?
Or will my cousin who constantly posts scripture - who, when others were changing their profile pictures to support marriage equality, shared that she doesn't judge, but also doesn't support homosexuality - hold back the congratulations she so willingly gave my sister? Will my friends, who have never once commented on me having a girlfriend - friends whose weddings I stood in - let my engagement go by without a word? Will my own sister (who loves me no matter what, but still seems uncomfortable with the gay thing) scream with excitement and ask to see my ring, hear all the details, like I did with her?
Will they be able to see past the gay to share the happiest moment of my life with me?
I know what I deserve, what Callie and I both deserve. And believe me, I know there are people who will be beyond thrilled when the day comes that she's finally able to put a ring on it and lock this lady down for life. We will have our well-wishers are our celebrations and I know my mom, for one, will be over the moon for us. But we deserve just as much love and excitement as everyone else when our time comes. I refuse to let such a deliriously happy moment for us be tarnished by others. But still, I send my plea out to the world now:
Please, please, find a way to see past the gay. Love is love. Just be happy for us.
Well I'm one friend who will be absolutely thrilled for you when the time comes! I can't tell you how happy I was to see that you and Callie are back together.
ReplyDeleteWhen LeAnne and I wore white knots at our wedding in support of marriage equality (and we're raising money to donate to an organization that fights for it), I was thrilled at how many people wore them with us (including quite a number of people that I didn't expect to be supportive!).
Hopefully people will surprise you (and/or open their minds a little bit more over the coming months and years that loving relationships are a great thing no matter which sex the partners are).
Hi Tim!! I had no idea you read this :) It's so good to hear from you, and hear your awesome words of support. That's really fantastic that you and Leanne did that, I had no idea. There's people who surprise me all the time too. When people were changing their profile pics for marriage equality, there were some people who REALLY surprised there, that I wouldn't have expected in a million years. So...fingers crossed!
DeleteThanks again! :)